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While visiting a flea market with my parents this summer, I happened upon a copy of a 1955 edition of Emily Post's Etiquette ("The Blue Book of Social Usage"). Originally published in 1922, mine was already the 9th edition. It interested me for two reasons: - Pistachio (my employer/baby/bread-and-butter) currently retails the 17th edition (published in 2008). I wondered if Emily (via Peggy Post - her great-granddaughter-law, if you please) had lightened up just a tad in 50 years.
- Morbid curiosity: I don't care much for etiquette. I prefer the speak-your-mind/be-yourself approach (although I do value manners and politeness, thank you). I do, however, find the subject of formal etiquette to be quite amusing, especially the 1950s interpretation.
Reading the book gives me great delight.
[ Ms.Post / an early edition / 17th Edition by Peggy Post ]
I intend to break her every rule.
Sure, I can send a professionally crafted email to a colleague, use the right fork at a 5-course meal, and put on a polished look for a formal occasion. Really, though, I am not much for formality. Please do not expect the words "request the honour of your presence" to appear anywhere on our invitations. I suppose there may be some guests, in my grandmothers generation, most likely, who may disapprove, but "traditional" is just not our style. I am wearing a white dress, though. Isn't that enough?
Luckily, my parents are one top hat away from a 3 ring circus, and have always appreciated my own brand of quirkiness (which I invariably get from them). They are not concerned in the least about offending Ms. Post.
I have only scratched the surface of the daunting task of designing, printing and assembling my own invitations, but I have at least started experimenting with fonts and colours:
As for design, I'm not quite there, although I have thought that a stitch-bound booklet would be quite cute. In the meantime, here are some lovely and somewhat unconventional invitations that inspire me (images courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings, Once Wed, Etsy, and The Green Wedding Shoes):
This week, I turned 30. Being the dramatic and sensitive Cancer that I am, you'd think that I would have overreacted. You might have expected me to invest in absurdly expensive eye creams and obsessively investigate my impending varicose veins and crows feet. Not so.
Besides wondering aloud if a woman of 30 should be wearing a skirt that hits well above the knee, entering a new decade didn't bring on so much as a pout (pouting is unbecoming at my age, right?). My mother always says that every decade is better than the last. Considering the fun she is having at 50, I believe it. Besides, how can I possibly hate turning 30, when I am getting married this year?
I love my job, my dog, my friends and my house, and I'm marrying for love. It's shaping up to be a great decade, I think.
I am in LA (where I also celebrated my birthday) at the moment, and am taking opportunity of a little down-time to think about the wedding. Alex is recording, and I am left to my own devices. LA is great, but I am currently without a car, and I have exhausted all of the walkable shopping areas in Glendale. I went a tad crazy at Michael's, too (nothing new). This store often brings on hyperventilation and half a dozen new hobbies on a normal visit. Add to that one bride on a DIY mission, and you have near cardiac arrest. I picked up paper, a myriad of glue/adhesive products, ribbons, tuile, calligraphy pens and florist tape. I am eager to get crafting!
While here, I have also flip-flopped on our dessert for the wedding. I dislike cake, and had hoped that Mom and I could make 115 strawberry tarts. She pointed out, however, that strawberries are not in season in September. Since there is nothing worse than imported strawberries, we returned to the drawing board. I then saw this image:
Gorgeous lemon tarts topped with blueberries! Yum. Same problem though: I don't think that Ontario blueberries will be easy to come by in the fall. Today, however, I picked up, on impulse, the cutest little cupcake kit at Urban Outfitters, complete with 250 colourful liners, recipes and decorating tools:
Ok, I guess we're doing cupcakes! Mom will be happy, as this saves her the chore of pastry making (since my pastry resembles the texture of a hockey puck). I think that cupcakes will be easier.... right Mom? So, I'm not a cake fan, but not everything about the day has to be about me, right? Plus, this could be a good thing: if I dislike the dessert, I won't eat it! Now, if only I could find a reason to steer clear of sweets altogether.
I wrote my Thank-yous for the shower last night. I feel like I'm doing little things to feel a sense of accomplishment, and somehow avoiding the major tasks. Truth is, I keep waiting for a huge chunk of time to really delve into wedding to-dos. This may not happen. At least, it won't happen anytime soon. I leave for LA in 2 days! This week, besides the usual things that occupy my waking hours - work, dog, house/garden upkeep - I have also filled my days with long-overdue appointments, and necessary errands for trip preparation. Plus, I am scrambling to tie up loose ends at work. I'm afraid our poor wedding will be neglected for yet another week. *sigh*
Perhaps, however, the guys will have long days in the studio, and I, having run out of shopping money by day 2, will have nothing better to do than sit by the pool with my laptop and finally tackle my to-dos. Wishful thinking.
Oh, does this count as actual progress: today I discussed wedding hair with my stylist and we decided on a braided side-bun (although I will need temporary extensions) to really let my yet-to-be-purchased giant flower headpiece shine. The catch? I have to pull off the 'do myself. As we'll be farm-bound 3 days prior to the wedding, there's no way my Toronto stylist could possibly tackle it. No fear! Years of cutting my own hair should invariably make me equipped for the job. Right? Right?
Until I have real wedding news, I will leave you with this lovely blog from Etsy: Click here!
I could really go nuts if I keep sourcing inspiration pics. There is just so much out there to awe and inspire; *sigh* if I only had 6 more months and an unlimited budget. But really my whole existence has been made possible by last minute decisions and on-a-dime budgets. Maybe I like the challenge.
Speaking of inspiration, I love this "Real Wedding" on Once Wed: the dress, the girl, the pictures. Ahhh, so romantic...
I am, admittedly, a tad behind. Despite jam-making success and nailing out a menu with mom this weekend, there are far too many major hurdles to conquer and I am wasting time fussing with inspiration boards. (But this is the FUN part). Focus, Dayna, focus.
Today my general well-being went from A-OK to near-death in 45 minutes flat. We went out for a staff brunch and by the time it ended, I swore I would vomit if anyone so much as looked at me the wrong way. My head pounded, my eyes pulsed. I was concerned that this could be something serious that would render me bed ridden and unable to catch up on clean-up, unpacking/re-packing, and wedding stuff. I walked my bike home from work around noon, taking twice the usual time, and verging on passing out. I have deduced that it was actually a migraine. A 3-hour nap and a few Advil did the trick. Whew, all better for the weekend!
---
Another reason for my trip home to Ottawa, was the shower that my mom-in-law-to-be wanted to throw for me, to introduce me to my new relatives.
[ Opening Leah and Sally's very fragrant gift. Mmmmm, Christmas trees!]
I had met most of them only briefly, and the thought of the event had me feeling a tad awkward. But my mom and her friend, and three of my Ottawa-based girlfriends came along. Alex's family was so great, though, and I didn't actually need the moral support after all. Although, I am SO glad they came anyway. We scored enough towels to completely replace our current somewhat dingy collection. Yay! Mom bought us a memory foam mattress topper...sigh... I might never leave bed. Seriously, best thing to happen to me since Alex and Dudley!
[ Dudley helps to open Philam's immaculately wrapped gift]
[ New Family - Meghan, Andrea and Betty ]
Mom-in-law promised no weird games, and kept her word. Leah and Philam were attempting to fashion a hat out of gift bows, however. The evening was really lovely, and nothing like my worst fears about showers. Great company, wine and food - perfect! I am sneaky enough to have found out that a potential 2nd shower is in the works. I am attempting to thwart it.
Thanks Diana and the Dagenais/Drouin/Stevenson clan for welcoming me to the family!
[ "We need to save the bows!"]
Mom and I spent the past extra-long weekend checking another to-do off of my list: Make 113 homemade jam favours for the wedding. Check!
Ingredients:
3 days
2 very determined women
113 mini mason jars
15 lbs of local strawberries (picked by me and Dad!)
10 lbs of rhubarb (picked from the backyard...by Dad!)
9 lbs of sugar
4 boxes of pectin
1 cup of lemon juice
A little heat and a lot of elbow grease
I saw this fantastic idea on a blog, and decided it was the perfect DIY wedding favour for a country wedding. While I'm sure I sensed a little "are you crazy?" in my mother's voice when I suggested the idea, she was more than happy to oblige. Considering I had NO idea what I was doing, this was a serious relief. The results might just be perfect. You'll have to call me during breakfast in October to confirm it, though.
OK, so the hard part is complete, but maybe my to-do doesn't quite deserve a checkmark. Just yet. You see, I've yet to pick a fabric and ribbon, and have not designed the hang tag. And then there is the assembly! It may finally be time to call on my helper elves. My wedding squad has been checking in, but until now I haven't had much to delegate. I am sensing that your time is coming, ladies!
... and 20 days to go until LA! Ooh, but more importantly - 97 days until the wedding. ack!
Alex has been gone for exactly a week now and while I miss him every minute, I have really been OK. I thought that I might spend most of my time out of the house, seeing friends, engaging in distractions, but I have really enjoyed quite a bit of "me time". I have definitely emerged from my little domestic hole, catching up with friends and making plans, too. I realize that I don't do this enough. It's very easy, when in a relationship, to neglect this part of your life. I discovered just today, that although Alex and I function very well as a 24-7 couple, we can survive this, too.So what's it like to be 4000 km away from your hubby-to-be? It's a test, certainly. I think we're passing, which is a relief: the next 4 or 5 years of our marriage could very closely resemble this period. I have been prepared. We have been saved by Skype. Honestly, it makes such a huge difference to be able to talk face-to-face. I've never been much of a phone person anyway. The guys have been putting in 11 and 12-hour days laying drum tracks for the past week, but we've managed to talk at least twice a day, even with the time difference. Yesterday they hit Joshua Tree National Park, and today - the beach. I'm a tad jealous. This is my summer, and he should be enjoying it with me! :) Luckily, in September, we're signing up for a lifetime of summers together. The wedding feels like our reward for passing our first test. Yay!
After my visit to LA, Alex spends another month away, before returning with just over a month left until the wedding. Time is flying. There are actually a few major items that really need to be dealt with ASAP. Like food. We still have not resolved the matter of BBQ-ing for 115 people... I have a lead, though. Fingers crossed!--
Yesterday, as she miraculously emerged from bed before 4pm, I took my night-owl sister shopping for a dress. This has been somewhat of a concern for my mother, who bought her own dress two months ago. Also, my sister and I are quite the opposite - she owns maybe one dress and one pair of heels, both of which she rarely wears. She's more comfortable in skate shoes and oversized hoodies. Where did I go wrong? She's cute, though - any easy fixer-upper. After about 1/2 an hour of grumpy foot-shuffling, she finally perked up and began actually picking things out for herself. Store #3 was a success - she snagged an on-sale bold floral print pin-up style dress at FCUK. I actually had no part in the decision - all her. My mother will be thrilled, as it's a complement to her own dress. Unfortunately, their choice of orange as the dominant colour doesn't quite work into my palette. However, this is what I wanted, right? Everyone wears what they want, everyone's happy. So what if our photos are a little, um, colourful? I hear that my Dad has been contemplating his rainbow pig tie. This may be where I draw the line.
--
My friend Dawn passed this along today and I wanted to share: http://www.redleafstudios.ca Dreamy wedding photography set in Saskatchewan... really, there is nothing more romantic than the prairies. Big sky, dusty air, no discernible horizon... *sigh*
"Alex?"
"Uh huh?"
"I can breathe all the way in, in this place."
"Mm hm..."
Sometimes, in the city, I can go for days without taking full breaths. Unless, of course, Yoga is involved. Really though, I survive via hyperventilation. Maybe it's stress. This never quite occurs to me until I am miles away from the city, and have the strange sensation of completely filling my lungs.
We are getting married here, in this place that makes me sane just for a little while. I might never want to leave.
---
Alex left today. This day has been coming since we met; I have been amply prepared. After seeing him off on his way to the airport, I filled my day with a workout, 2 margaritas with a friend, and a good dig in the garden. I am really going to be OK! So, it is only now, as the sun drops and the house becomes eerily quiet (Dudley has finally stopped sprinting in circles), that I am suddenly feeling a bit sad. Fellow band-"wife", Becky, and I admitted optimistically that we both had big plans for our summer of singledom - I with my many fussy little wedding/garden/sewing projects and she with catching up with single friends. As busy as I make myself, though, it could be a long 27 days until my visit to LA.
Anyone wanna spoon?
On Saturday around 2pm, we shut down our wedding fundraiser (ahem, yardsale) and packed up the remainder of our treasures (er, junk?) for Goodwill (well, I did - Alex conveniently had rehearsal that afternoon).
[ from realsimple.com ]
We've already spent half of it renting a car and taking a road trip out to see the venue once more. There were a few measurements to be taken, and we wanted to get a feel for the place now that the trees are in bloom. I was looking forward to the day, as we'd planned to take the opportunity to mosey through Prince Edward County. It was our last full day together before Alex hops on a plane this Sunday. *tear* However, Mother Nature was not kind, and gave us a dreary day, not suited to moseying. It was, nonetheless, a productive trip. Oh, and it reinforced my original sentiment: the farm is the most gorgeous place on earth.
Our second round of measurements revealed that fitting our ever growing guest list into the barn would be nearly impossible. Plan B? Well, we didn't have one. Upon inspection of the area, though, we found a nice patch of grass that appeared perfect for pitching a huge tent. We are eating outside. I am somewhat disappointed, as the light streaming in through the barn boards during daylight hours is ever so romantic. We will however, move the entire party into the barn post dinner for a barn dance. Eliminating the tables will make the squeeze just a little less of an issue. I imagine that some of the older folks will opt out of a little "getting jiggy with it" anyway (no, Will Smith is not on the playlist).
Back to the drawing board for me, as I now need to create a decor/lighting plan for two spaces. Insert eye roll/look of confusion from Alex here. Staying within our $10, 000 budget could be a challenge...
I love snail mail. it's another great reason to shop online (as if I needed another excuse). Yesterday, a swatch of the silvery linen arrived, and today: the vintage lace for my dress deconstruction project and bride/groom BBQ aprons. OK, so these are only teeny tiny Atkins-diet slices of the huge pie that is our wedding, but it feels like progress, and I am happy!
My future mom-in-law, who I can tell is oh-so excited about the big day, picked up some more old bottles for us (in addition to those that we found last weekend). We are almost set for centrepieces, except, of course for the flowers. I am also hoping to snag a deal on a few antique cheese boxes (as below) for my wheatgrass project. I am still determined to fit this in somewhere!In other wedding news (not my own), our friend Kim is off with new hubby in tow on a Mediterranean honeymoon. I just returned from her Ottawa wedding feeling more optimistic about pulling off my own. It was really fun and Kim even had time to drag her cumbersome train around the dance floor a few times. I hope I can pull off the relaxed thing as well as she can. Seeing the event as a guest, and not the bride/organizer/scary dictator that I have become, I can see that people expect very little from you. They want to be fed, seated with people they like, shed a few happy tears, and maybe dance to a few songs that they wouldn't admit that they liked in any other setting. I should chill.
Congrats to Kim and Jamie, the newlyweds and soon-to-be new parents!
Congrats to Mel and Erick on their recent engagement!
Except for a few missing addresses (Amy! Liz!), the Save The Dates are whooshing through the postal system and arriving in mailboxes as I write this.
I hesitated to post this until we had actually sent them, but now that everyone has seen the fruits of my Photoshop labour, here it is, digitally:
I had so much fun with it, but it did take me the better part of a Sunday, and I typically am not blessed with these long stretches of time. This is my reason for beginning to question the thought of making my own invites. I probably will in the end (who am I kidding, really?), but I did consider hiring this gal to do them for me: www.yokochapman.com. She's one of my vendor contacts through work, and she has been oh-so kind enough to offer me a deal on her recently launched line of 100% recycled and vegetable printed invites. Plus, she's from Winnipeg (go Prairies!), and prints in Canada! While I will likely end up designing them myself, I think her line is just amazing, and wanted to give her a little shout out.
[ vert by yoko chapman ]
[ Ms.Post / an early edition / 17th Edition by Peggy Post ]
As for design, I'm not quite there, although I have thought that a stitch-bound booklet would be quite cute. In the meantime, here are some lovely and somewhat unconventional invitations that inspire me (images courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings, Once Wed, Etsy, and The Green Wedding Shoes):
