Because it's totally worth it. Sure, I may have stopped eating and showering during the days leading up to our big day, but it really was worth every moment of greasy hair and malnutrition. Doing it yourself means that the end product really reflects you. And for us, this couldn't be more true. I can't stop looking at our photos. It's a sickness, really. The day was just so perfect; i don't want it to be over.
making 120 cupcakes... from scratch
THE dress, before and after
I do however, extend a word of warning: the DIY wedding experience is not for everyone. If you thrive on stress, know your way around Photoshop, and have the patience for a LOT of paper-cut inducing crafts, you might be right for the job. Oh, and it helps to have a meticulous husband-to-be and creative friends (the "Y" in DIY doesn't literally mean "you", singular).
Here are my TOP 10 (er, 11) pieces of been-there wisdom, from one bride-to-be (now wife) to another:
- Delegate. Yes, I know who you are (because I am you!): you are a control freak, you have a vision, you would forego sleep if necessary. But, trust me, you need help. Choose wisely, though; some help can be less than helpful. Assign your friends and family to things that they enjoy and at which they excel.
- Buy extra. Don't buy 100 sheets of paper if you plan to print 100 invitations. You will invariably mess up at least one. Don't get stuck paying twice as much for something, because you need it in an emergency.
- Borrow. "Something borrowed" doesn't have to be a dress or garter. Ask friends and family to borrow serving dishes, decor, lights and anything that isn't consumable. It saves money and waste.
- Treat yourself to at least one pampering or splurge. In an effort to be frugal, I didn't get my hair or nails done, nor did I buy the insanely expensive dress. But, I used the special day to do a couple of nice things for myself. When you're doing everything yourself, you deserve a break. For me it was semi permanent lashes. Wink!
- Be resourceful. If you've rented a non-traditional venue like we did (a big farm in the middle of nowhere), you'll have to bring everything yourself. Naturally, you forgot to print a sign for the reserved seating, and didn't buy enough bins for recycling. No problem - provided you remember tip #2, you (or your creative friend, I my case), can fashion something out of leftover paper and craft supplies.
- Have a back-up plan. Be sure to have lots of candles in the event of a power outage (it happened to us). Decide on an easy Plan B for that gorgeous outdoor ceremony you wanted. Luckily we only had a few minutes of rain, but the barn was ready as a back-up if it had gotten worse. In any case, plan for a worst-case-scenario.
- Create a detailed itinerary. Three, in fact: one for you and hubby for the month leading up to the event, one for friends and family for the set-up day/days, and one for the day-of. To be sure you don't lose your mind, be sure everyone knows (in great detail) what their roles will be. Then you'll be free to get your own to-dos done rather than spending the time supervising.
- Anticipate and accept changes to your vision. When mom decides that the Quinoa salad isn't necessary or Dad-in-law tells you that the BBQ lighter ran out of fuel and therefore the large lanterns can't be lighted, just roll with the punches. No one but you will notice.
- Get an early start. This was a piece of advice that I didn't heed myself. I ended up cutting corners and abandoning projects at the 11th hour, because we ran out of time. Prioritize the projects that really matter (say, making/altering your dress, writing vows), and save the little extras for the end (cupcake flags, maybe).
- Have fun. If wedding tasks become overwhelming and tedious, they're no longer fun, and not worth it. Hold a crafting party or enlist friends to put together invitations assembly-line style. Order a pizza and pop on "27 Dresses" or "Bride Wars". This is a fun way for your wedding party to be involved.
- Spend money. Even with a budget wedding like ours, there are corners that you can't cut. You may have to blow your budget, but it is totally not worth the stress to handle EVERYTHING yourself. We saved on the dress because I altered it myself. We saved on flowers by buying in bulk and having a friend arrange them. We saved by borrowing, reusing, crafting and bargain hunting. But, while we made our own salads and sides, we went over our food budget to hire caterers for the meat/BBQ part. Totally worth it. Trust me.
making invitations with hubby-to-be!
This day is about you and your hubby-to-be, so make it reflect your personalities. Don't get stuck with a templated wedding. If you're willing to put in the time and you enjoy a healthy dose of stress, you can achieve something really great. And, when you're eyeball deep in paper scraps, or you've been making cupcakes by yourself for 6 hours straight (and you don't even LIKE cupcakes), remember that it will all pay of on the big day!
tyler lends a hand (ladies, he's more than just a pretty face!)
craft party! we dressed up 120 jars of jam.
the bride engages in some heavy labour, too
dads are very, very handy to have around!
pasta salad for 115 people!
Next blog (and maybe the last): the big day with photos!
