The "Three Dress Bride"

I had never heard of this term, prior to beginning my search. I suppose it's an occurrence common enough to warrant a widely used term. Does this make me feel any better about my own flakiness? No.

Yesterday, we saw this dress in an ad:



I commented that it was pretty much exactly what I wanted in a wedding dress. Shemeena found the very same dress on a blog today, and I looked up the designer (Naeem Khan). Much to my dismay, while the dress IS available in Canada, it is well over $2000. That's 1/5 of our whole budget!

The dress I actually bought is pretty much the polar opposite/arch nemesis of this one. I do love it, though... do I? Arghhh. I just found another one that I love on ebay today. I am tempted to buy it. Either way I can return the one I have, or resell the ebay dress. The wedding dress exchange site (Once Wed) that i now visit daily seems to be a great tool - the inexpensive frocks always fly. But, I would then be a "Two Dress Bride", and counting. I have come down with Wedding Fever. What is with this ridiculous day, and its power to change perfectly rational people into raging lunatics? *sigh*

*serenity now* So, IF I keep Dress #1 (a name by which it will be referred going forward), I am going to need to forfeit the messy waves for a polished updo. I will be hitting up my Kingston expert, Kim, for some great salons. Do you think I can pull this off (sans tiara)?

*butterflies*

EEK! I bought a dress! Not the one below, mind you ;) Oh c'mon, it would spoil the surprise!

[ Milly Fall 09 Collection ]

3 girls, 2 hours, and one power breakfast = dress success! It's white (oh) and simple (my) and very classic (dear lord). But I feel so Jackie O in it. A fellow shopper (ahem, complete stranger in the fitting rooms) asked, upon spotting me in the dress, if I was getting married in Paris. Lady, keep it coming. Maybe a little lightheadedness was involved in the decision to purchase. The dress is a Milly of New York, and I came in under budget! So, what's an unconventional girl to do with a conventional dress? Why, accessorize, of course! I am excited to shop for tights and jewellery and bits to really knock it out. OK, I love to shop.

Still though, whether it's buyers remorse or just the product of my indecisive nature, I may be experiencing the first pangs of doubt...

We just rented Bride Wars (no, don't). The big flouffy-pouffy dresses in the film made my stomach flip-flop and swim with butterflies, as if I suddenly had the wardrobe version of cold feet. As if I actually wanted the creampuff mountain of tuile! Oh dear. *I will NOT be a three-dress bride, I will not be a...*

*sniff, sniff*

Dudley, it’s just you and me, babe. I hope you can tie ribbons and operate scissors.

So, I previously mentioned that Alex was to be out of the picture for the month of May. He’s recording a full-length album with his band in LA with an amazing producer. While this is incredibly exciting, I can’t help but allow it to be overshadowed by the fact that it will be a major burden financially. Oh yeah, and I’m flying solo on the wedding planning. Yikes! Even worse, now, it looks like it’s going to be for TWO months – June and July. Ack!

Luckily, it seems I have chosen my team wisely - everyone is chomping at the bit to get involved. Well girls, it shall soon be your time to shine! I will surely be roping the Ottawa chapter of Team Wedding into helping with jam favours (Philam and Vicky, yeah!). As for Team Montana (Liz), we have some major griping/dishing Skype dates in our future!

In other Team Wedding news, I have enlisted the stylish help of my friend Shemeena (and hopefully any of the other Toronto-based girls) to do a little dress shopping this weekend. Yes, THE dress (previously blogged-about aqua number) is still top contender, but this is the only time in my life that I will get to have this experience. I might as well strut around in a few poufy white dresses for a couple of hours, right?

I am open to non-traditional suggestions for dress shops in the downtown area. Remember: I DON’T have a car, I DO have a budget and I am NOT interested in a floor length white gown. The dresses below are examples of styles I would love to mimic. Too bad most of these are so out of my budget. Christian Lacroix... *drool*.

Last. L-A-S-T. Yes, my last name is Last.

You see why I wasn't in a hurry to be the newest Mrs. Last. The name is, well, inconvenient. As I mentioned before, to the chagrin of the future in-laws, we are ditching his name (and mine, too) and making up a new one. Once we've narrowed it down, he'll legally change his, and I'll assume it. The difference, in Ontario, is that essentially "assuming" a name means that you don't have to change your birth certificate.

We have our list down to six names. I am DYING to blab, but we have decided to keep it a secret until the very last minute. I hate secrets. SO, below is a "hint". They are very difficult hints, intentionally. I refuse to respond to any guessing, because I'm a terrible liar!

Favours and Flavours: update!

I am so inspired by cleverly executed DIY weddings. I only hope that we can pull it off, too. Just a few images to share, that have inspired me lately, courtesy of Martha Stewart Weddings and Once Wed:


I was delighted to find these last images below, as just recently we had settled on our favours: jam! I have personally never made the stuff, but my mom does it successfully every year. That doesn't necessarily mean it's easy. Sure, I can find my way around a kitchen, but if my pastry is any indication, I certainly did not inherit my mother's natural culinary gift. And so, to take the pressure off, I have roped my mom into helping me with this little project. We're going to take to the fields in July to pick some local strawberries, as well as rhubarb from her own yard. Add some organic sugar and pectin, and voila - inexpensive and earth friendly favours!

While in Canadian Tire today, I picked up little Mason jars for the job. With a bit of fabric (I have oodles) and some pretty ribbon, I have a feeling that these will be dynamite! The images below also show a centrepiece that includes apples. I had already imagined including some of the granny smith variety in our décor somehow, so it's great to see it done so well.

Snap-Happy!

Photographer situation: solved!

Dawn, my busy-bee friend and super helpful wedding “expert” (she’s been to a million), reminded me of one of our mutual friends and her ability to take great pics. While she is not a professional photographer, she may be even more suited to the job. Here’s why: she knows us.

[ Dawn and Me loitering in Kensington - Photo by Courtney Price ]

We approached her this week, talked over a dog walk last night, and she agreed! She’s nervous, because of the “most important day of your life” factor, but we assured her. I am not one of “those” brides. Basically, she has a good camera, a good eye, and will be one non-drunk person dedicated to this task. It’s really all we want. Hiring a professional doesn’t seem to make sense considering how budget the rest of the wedding will be. It seems like an extravagance unfit for the type of casual affair that it will be. The bonus? She’s a friend that we couldn’t have otherwise invited, as we are keeping the list as short as possible. This way, we include an extra guest, and get great shots (yes, Courtney, they’ll be great!) to boot! She has flatly refused any payment, so we’ll just have to be sure to stuff her full of good home cookin’ and let her off the hook early to enjoy a few drinks. While it was too bad that we couldn’t help out our friend Carolyn, this situation really is much more ideal.

Thanks Courtney – we’re pleased as pie!

[ Courtney in action ]

Check!

Two big red checkmarks for the to-do list:

• Booked the officiant (thanks Kim, for the tip!)
• Purchased a domain name for the wedding website

Going the next step on the latter, I flexed my under-worked HTML muscles and began a design for the site. I am quite rusty, it seems. so far, the site is fairly crude, I'll admit, but it will serve its purpose. Sheesh, my $20,000 art school education must be useful for something!

We also discussed the possibility of sharing resources with our friends who are to be married on August 1st. We realized that we may actually be able to save a chunk of change if we purchase dishes, etc and split the cost, as opposed to renting these items. It could be a logistical nightmare, but if it saves us a bit of money I'll give it a shot.

Last night, we had an engagement party, of sorts. Really it was Alex's birthday, but we threw in the engagement as an afterthought. Unfortunately, we picked Easter Weekend when 5/6th of the Toronto chapter of my wedding squad was out of town. On the upside, our bleak mismatched wine glass collection reminded me of another must-have for the registry!

Cyan/Cerulean/Aqua/Sea Foam/Robins Egg?

No matter how you look at it, it's more blue than green.



I found THE dress a while back, but was concerned that my interpretation of the colour as "sea foam green" was described to me as "actually more of an aqua" by the designer. "Robin's egg blue" also came up. These two more-blue-than-green hues had me worried. I'm not much for pastels, but the idea of a fresh pistachio-pudding-esque shade sounded stunning popped out with white accessories. It seemed so retro, like a 50's party dress. I fantasize about a Vespa in the very same colour. I am crazy about anything green. A hue closer to pale blue seems more appropriate for a baby shower than a wedding. But, the computer monitor can be deceiving. So I asked the designer to send a swatch and she kindly obliged. See above.

OK so, NOT sea foam green. I am now on the fence. Afraid of looking like a cupcake, I may opt out of colour altogether, sadly, and go for white. The same designer does a similar number in a glittery white chiffon. It's still very non-traditional as far as wedding dresses go (short and more of a cocktail dress). I'd love to post the two and get opinions, but I have to leave something a surprise, right?

Tiered Cakes and Script Font: I am weak.

Don't buy wedding magazines. It's a trap! Unless of course, you are planning on spending at least $2000 on a dress and you have no idea what style you are looking for. In that case, typical wedding mags are a great start for dress inspiration. Otherwise, you're paying at least $7 a pop for a phonebook-sized advertisement. I have been sucked in, though. In airports mostly, when I'm hankering for a quick read, I peruse the sub-par snacks and the magazine wall, itching for a glimpse of a tiered cake, script font, and tuile. Price is no object! Each time, though, I am disappointed.

[*sigh* Martha, if only you were as good on paper...]

Martha Stewart Weddings did, however, turn me on to the accompanying website, which is fabulous! I am completely obsessed with the seating tool. But again, the magazine itself was page after page of horrific gown ads. Do the editors not realize that the dress is the EASY part? Please impart some real advice, people! Modern Bride actually featured an article on how to fold fitted sheets. *Gasp* is this 1955? (OK, I admit, I can't fold a fitted sheet to save my life, but it's not a skill I need to be marriage-worthy).

But maybe, just maybe, there is a glimmer of light: On my latest flight, back from Ottawa on Porter (*love*) on Sunday, I picked up Real Simple Weddings 2009 ("Your guide to planning a beautiful and stress-free celebration"). It was $13.95. See: sucked in. This one, however, was the best thing I have I have purchased, wedding-wise, to date. Besides the shoes of course.

[best 14 bucks I ever spent...um, since the engagement]

It contains maybe 12 ads total (all Crate and Barrel), and is, as promised, a guide, full of helpful checklists, FAQs and stories of real weddings for inspiration. I began flagging pages, but stopped halfway through, realizing that most of the preceding pages had turned-down corners. Although American, thus containing mostly links/shops out of my 'hood (WAY out), the practical (and general) advice is applicable to both super traditional celebrations, and those like ours. The registry checklist (that I filled out in flight) helped me realize that, yes, there are some household gadgets that we could use. We, of course, need the house to put them in, but I am less opposed to the idea of registering. I could go on. If you're getting married, buy this. Seriously, it's smart.

My friend and fellow bride-to-be, Miss Kim, is getting married in less than 2 months. She has been most helpful, having been through it all AND currently living in Kingston. She passed along another lead on local officiants, and some hotel suggestions for guests. I have reached out. My it feels good to make check marks. I want to make them big with a red marker and a whoosh of the arm. But of course, my weary wrists wouldn't allow it anyway.

My body hates me. I am sure of it.

[perhaps we should refrain from such activities.]

I am overworked. I was not designed for this. My body tells me so.

On the ever-growing list of medical woes with which I am afflicted, recurring tendonitis in my wrists has been a major problem. Generally brought on from being overworked (it is aggravated by extensive "mousing" on the computer), it is typically my indication that I need to chill. It is flaring up at the moment, and I should not be typing, but I have neglected this blog for too long.

Work is insane, as usual, and no one told me that planning a wedding was a full-time job. Even one as low-key as ours. But it is. I have also been out of the picture for 3 days, attending a friends bachelorette. Much fun, but stressful knowing that work and wedding planning to-dos were piling up back here at home.

We have not made any major progress lately, aside from discussions and a few minor purchases. The guest list is almost final, however, and we have almost all of the addresses. Once my borderline arthritic wrists calm down, i will update my ridiculously anal guest spreadsheet. Some major hurdles for us (and items that need to be put to bed ASAP): chair/tent rentals, an officiant, and finishing the design of the Save-the-dates.

Ack, my wrists are protesting already. I must go rest and fret about being just over 5 months from the big day. But, if I don't take it easy, I could render myself fully incapacitated. 3 days of delay in planning could really be a plus. While hubs-to-be is very handy, I think the ribbon tying and finicky "pretty" details should be left to me. And I'll need healthy joints for those tasks.

Alex knows that he's marrying an 80 year old. Luckily, his "dowry" includes a creaky back and not-quite-ever-healed ankle. Match made in heaven, I tell ya.