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The venue search is still on! We’ve managed to hit another snag, though. Our out-of-wedlock baby, Dudley (a 3-year old Jack Russell Terrorist), is not always a welcome party guest. He is obviously a guest of honour in our eyes, being immediate family, but it appears that not everyone is quite so enamored with him (and his furry counterparts) as we are. Therefore, "pet friendly” has been added to our must-have list. For the types of venues that we are trying to find, you’d think that it would be easy. Not so. Surprisingly, nature lovers (ie. Cottage/barn/farm owners) are not always animal lovers. We have a few promising dog-friendly leads so far, so I am optimistic.
Being a just a little over the moon about our pooch, we want this day to be about him too, in a way. I may regret opening up the guest list to the canine variety as I am screaming “Down”, “Come”, “Stay”, “No”, “Off” from the aisle. And muddy paws + white dress? ACK! But, really, I wouldn’t have it any other way. He is family after all. Unless you’re also a dog owner/lover, you couldn’t possibly understand.
I've been perusing the web for ideas on incorporating pets into the ceremony. I'm certainly not alone. There is actually an entire website dedicated to it! I will no doubt endure ribbing from, um, everyone, when my little Mister struts out in his custom doggie tux, but it's comforting to know that others share my insanity. Even Alex pretends that he's mortified when it comes to dog apparel. I know the truth. What Dudley's "role" may be in our wedding, I'm still not sure. Ring bearer, perhaps? Dare I even suggest "Best Man"?
An informative (and amusing) Martha Stewart Weddings article on pets in weddings, shared this anecdote:
During the outdoor ceremony of Sarah St. Onge and Andrew Howell in St. Helena, California, Sarah's dog, Piper, suddenly began barking. "She saw a squirrel," says Andrew. "But the barks were well timed," adds Sarah. "Piper punctuated the wedding vows and added an element of humor." And it's warm, lighthearted surprises like this that make a wedding memorable.
I do anticipate such behaviour from Mr. D, but I can only hope that it will be just as "well-timed" and "lighthearted". However, considering Dudley's squirrel encounters surpass mere barking and usually involve spastic sprinting and frothing at the mouth, I may just take Ms. Stweart's advice and "hire a handler" (ahem, my sister). Pretty please, Auntie Jilly?
It's been a mere two weeks since le grand question, and it appears that I had become quite accustomed to this engagement thing. In fact, my ring had became instantly comfortable in its new digs on my left hand. Unfortunately, it was a tad too large. Today, hubby-to-be and I returned to the little antique shop where he bought it, to get it resized. While there, I reluctantly submit myself to a simple sizing exercise and forfeit my ring. "How long?", I ask, cringing.
She - lovely shop owner who finds us amusing, somehow - tells me that we just missed "the guy", and I won 't get it back until Tuesday. Tuesday?!
Now my left hand feels numb, and strange. It's the ghost finger effect. It feels like it's there, but it's not, which freaks me out. And, I have to wait almost a WEEK to get it back? I'm proud of my new bling, and want to show it off. I have a girls night Saturday, which, in part, was intended to be a gushing session over my new status. Maybe not the same without the obligatory left-hand-grabbing and ogling? Well, at least I still have the man. He'll have to do this week, I guess. :)
Back to regular posts! At least for now. My conversation with my mother this weekend really drove home the fact that we are really nowhere in terms of a plan. I feel like I have been talking about nothing but weddings, but maybe it hasn't exactly been in any sort of organized way. Eep!
Speaking of my mother, as I think about her own big day, it does bring one important aspect to mind (aside from location, of course): budget. My parents claim to have executed a $100 wedding in 6 weeks. I recall smiling and nodding at hearing this story, chalking it up to another one of my mother's wild exaggerations and made-up memories/words/songs ("I walk 10 miles uphill to school..."). So I called her on it. "Mom", I said, "Tell me about your wedding budget." I drilled her on the cost of everything, and to the best of her knowledge (with grunts of agreement from my father in the background), this was my parents' actual budget, for a 40-person wedding, planned in 6 weeks, in 1974:
Food - $1.50/plate x 40 people = $60
8 bottles wine = $20
Dress made by a friend $0
White shoes platform owned by Mom $0
Cake made by Mom's Mom $0
Cake decorating (church ladies) $10
Piano player - gift $0
Singer - gift $0
Rental of Venue - Curling Club $0
Punch $20Photos taken by a friend $20
TOTAL $130
OK, so it wasn't a wild exaggeration after all.
Geez, I've already spent more than that on JUST the shoes. Clearly this is not a matter of inflation. While, yes, a "budget" wedding is certainly important to us (being that we have no budget!), I know that we both want it to be a great party. I can't imagine doing that at $3 a head... Fast forward more than 30 years, and this is equally impressive: 2000 Dollar Budget Wedding - a blog created by an American couple who spent a whopping $2012 on their own big day. Again, pushing it.
I am, at least, inspired.
Luckily, Alex and I are both fairly creative, and can save a little money with craftiness. Yeah, D.I.Y.! I have tricks up my sleeve. I also have a slew of uber-talented friends who, if they love me, will spare time for various gluing/taping/stapling/weaving/printing/hemming duties. I may add "meltdown management" to the job description, as well. Girls, I won't even make you buy papaya taffeta dresses.
So, I bought a binder and dividers today, to serve as my wedding planner and money tracker. Cost: $18. Even creating a budget hits our budget. *sigh*
(For funsies, I think I'll add a running tally to this blog, at the right. I might lie about certain things. Shoes may or may not be the only things that make me unreasonable.)
As my smoked salmon quiche basks in the balmy heat of our oven (*sigh*, I miss Mexico), I am trying to squeeze in a new entry. It's only Day 6 of born-again blogging, and I've already missed 3 days. With only 7 months to plan (and execute) this wedding, I can't afford to skip a beat. AND, if I'm writing about weddings, luckily for Alex, I'm talking about them much less.
I hear that snagging the perfect venue can mean booking up to two years in advance. Yikes! I really couldn't stomach using the "my fiancée" introduction for that long. Luckily, we're not your average couple. The locales we've been eyeing certainly aren't on the must-have list of brides-to-be, which certainly makes last-minute booking all the more possible. You see, we want to get hitched in the sticks. Yee haw! While we live and work and love in downtown T-dot-O, our hearts are in the trees. Hard to believe after reading my last blog maybe? If you really know me, though, you know I'd trade patent white slingbacks for bare feet any day.
Truthfully, I was scoping out locations even before the proposal, but have stepped it up considerably in the last week. Here's where we're at:
Option 1: Rent a cottage in the Muskokas. The upside: a completely DIY experience, meaning we'd have more freedom over food, decor, etc. Also, it would certainly make for the rustic and casual outdoor wedding that we are looking for, with beautiful views. And the downside? So far nothing has caught our eye, and the logistics are messy (um, where exactly would everyone sleep?).
Option 2: The Windfall Ecology Centre in Aurora. Through a colleague, I discovered that this community-based non profit organization with its centre located on a beautiful swatch of rural land, will be hosting its first eco-wedding on the grounds in July. Apparently, an ex-wedding planner on staff has begun offering her services to arrange such events at the centre. While we are still fuzzy on the details, this option has many pluses: close proximity to Toronto (for the ease of our guests) and likely this would be a venue more equipped (as opposed to a single-family cottage) to support a large event. My only concern, considering the involvement of a wedding planner, is that we would relinquish too much control.
Option 3: Prince Edward County. An idea passed along by my friend Dawn, and one that I love for many reasons. Location, being its biggest asset, this area is smack dab between Ottawa and Toronto, making it convenient for most of our guests. I am quite partial to the area, having spent the first 5 years of my life in Trenton, and falling in love with Cherry Valley on a road trip detour a few years ago. I found a great site that caters to home/cottage/farm owners wanting to rent out their properties by the week. Still a viable option, we are waiting to hear back from the site's administrator about the willingness of the owners to allow us to rent for the purposes of a wedding. This may be a hard sell.
Finally,
Option 4: Rent a barn. My mothers idea, and maybe the best so far. Apparently, in Ottawa, there is a large barn available to rent for large events, like weddings, where you can get the feel of being in the country, but in a building equipped to handle such events (it has a stage!). The biggest drawback: its in Ottawa. Yes, we're both technically "from" Ottawa (though that's an arguable point for this military brat), but neither of us feel particularly attached to the city itself. I also can't imagine planning from 500 kms away. My childhood friend, Terri-Lynn, who I have kept in touch with thanks to Facebook, is planning her 2010 Vancouver wedding from Ottawa. So, I guess it's certainly possible. However, I am now on a mission to find a similar set up closer to home ("home" being Toronto, for this purpose).
My mother, who is delightfully helpful and full of the motherly advice that I finally appreciate in adulthood, is also refreshingly non-meddling as far as mothers go. I think Alex and I are both lucky to have parents who are supportive, yet understanding of our ability (and right) to make our own decisions. While we talked by phone yesterday, she did make a good point: it's not only an overused real estate expression, location really is everything. Yes, it's possible to plan a wedding in 7 months, but you really can't make any decisions until the venue is booked. It dictates date, budget, and number of guests. So while I'm having fun perusing dresses (you're right, Jenna, but dress #1 didn't pan out so I'm still on the prowl), it's time to get serious. Location, location location...
I am weak in the knees. Or maybe the ankles, actually. When it comes to shoes, I suppose I become completely unreasonable and a little lightheaded. I'm very much a stereotype in this way. Classic example of one of these unreasonable moments: I purchased wedding shoes pre-engagement.
I saw said shoes a year ago while shopping with my friend Kirsten. A friend for whom I had walked the aisle in a never-to-be-worn-again dress only a year earlier. We were in Holts doing some swimsuit shopping, but not before a casual stroll through the shoe department (of course!). I had a moment. At the time, Alex and I had been together 2 years, and while marriage was on our minds, it certainly wasn't on our lips. In any case, I saw them - slingback flats by Sigerson Morrison - and exclaimed "I am getting married in these shoes!" Quick to burst my bubble, Kirsten (bless her fantasy-princess-wedding heart) firmly forbade me to get married in flats. Well. Even after explaining that heels in the mud just wouldn't do, nor would towering over my husband-to-be, she was adamant. Much to her horror, I fell in love with an $80 cotton dress that day for the same purpose. Knowing that wedding related purchases at that point would scare off any man, even one who loves me (ahem, puts up with me) as fiercely as Alex, I dropped the subject.
One year later, and I am in NYC on business (again, pre-proposal). I see them once more in Bloomingdales. On sale! With Kirsten miles away, and a little ring shopping under the belt to help boost the tipsiness already induced by the scent of leather and the cooing of the slippery salesman, I rang them in. I lightheadedly convinced myself that it was a sign. Such things happen in New York, right?
It's hard to tell from the above photo, but they are patent (*dreamy sigh*) with a lovely not quite almond, not quite square toe and 4 tiny little mirror embellishments.
Shoes:1
Dayna:0
OK, so the eco-friendly factor isn't quite there. And budget friendly? Comme ci, comme ca. But, I do have my eye on a lovely inexpensive dress, handmade by an indie designer in Portland. Maybe supporting small (somewhat local) artists will balance it all out? Or maybe we'll make up for it in other ways. In any case, I survived my biggest weakness in this whole process; the rest should be a piece of (homemade organic) cake, right?
Mere minutes after a shaky "YES", this bride-to-be began penning mental to-dos, scouring the web for the perfect dress (to match the already purchased shoes), and wondering if it really was possible to plan the perfect meager-budget, planet-friendly wedding in under 7 months.
Alex proposed on a lookout on the East coast of the island of Cozumel in Mexico last week. I said yes. At the time, I had already dropped a wallop on a pair of white slingbacks during a work trip to NYC. So, I think he was pretty confident of a positive outcome. And I, having already suspected his intentions, worked on my very best mock surprise. Nonetheless, he fumbled nervously with the ring and I didn't need to conjure up surprise at all: I really was.
An informative (and amusing) Martha Stewart Weddings article on pets in weddings, shared this anecdote:
